Good Charlotte Saved My Life

        Growing up I was the stereotypical church kid (on the outside). The thing that most people outside of my family did not know is that I was a thief. I started stealing around the age five and learned that it was an easy way to get what I want. Since I became good at lying I wouldn't get caught often. In middle school I transferred to a public school and met kids like me, who did the things I did and were on the social outside. Knowing that I was a thief made me feel as though I did not fit in at church. The one time I stated stealing in church it was because my Sunday school teacher asked what a "sin" was. After stating my answer she said "I meant sins that you commit." She did not believe that a second grader could be a thief. That was the moment I knew I did not fit in at church. Not only did I feel like an outsider at church, but also at home. My brothers were the smart star athletes, and my sister was the fun good one. Then there was me, the one with anger problems, the one that stole, the one that was a liar, oh and I was the one that cursed worse than a sailor. 

                  Sixth grade I had finally met people like me. Those friends introduced me to the Punk life, and bands like Good Charlotte quickly became my favorites. I never felt like I could be me when I was at home or church, and this time became the moments when I needed the church the most. My church "friends" stopped talking to me, and wanting to hang out, because I was "weird." So many times I felt like giving up on God, and the church because nobody understood. When I was at my lowest points I would listen to Good Charlotte's "The Young and the Hopeless" CD. Their song "Hold On" was a favorite of mine, the chorus states “Hold on if you feel like letting go, hold on it gets better than you know. Don't stop looking, you're one step closer. Don't stop searching, it's not over. Hold on" The lyrics themselves are speaking about holding onto life and not committing suicide, which is a message I needed then. Now as I read them, and listen to the words of this song I can so easily relate them to my relationship with God, to hold on and not give up on mankind, and to not give up on learning more about God.
         Their song "Young and Hopeless" was the story of my life during those years. The chorus is "i'm young and i'm hopeless, i'm lost and I know this. I'm going nowhere fast is what they say. I'm troublesome, I've fallen. I'm angry at my father. It's me against the world and I don't care." The sad thing is that nobody knew, or seemed to care. I was angry at the world and hurting, and the only one who seemed to notice was my youth pastor. 

           This song is not just my story, or Good Charlotte's, but it is the story of many people. The sad thing is that those close to them, and the church does not notice. We tell them to cover it up and pretend as though life is good, and then we are surprised when people commit suicide, or when they leave the church. The "funny" thing is that after I got my crap together and started changing back to "normal," that is when the people in the church started talking to me again, and befriending me. My friend Scott asked me once "Why do Christians suck?" at the moment I could not give a good answer. Now I know why, because we are afraid of mess, we are afraid to be broken because we have been taught that it is not okay to have Ish in our lives and struggle, and we shun those who are going through it and only embrace them when it is over. When we should be doing that exact thing while they are going through it, because *News Flash* not all people get to the end of their darkness.

         So many times as Christians we separate what is "sacred" and what is "secular." Many would say that Good Charlotte is secular and bad, but they saved my life. They sang how I felt, what I felt, and gave me words to hang on to and sing when I felt all alone in this world. I strongly believe that God worked through them, and Green Day, Blink 182, Linkin Park, and Three Days Grace. I do not know where I would be without God, my youth pastor, and the punk bands I listen to. So thank you to those who were there for me in my darkness and to others while they were (and are) in theirs.