Toto We're Not in Kansas Anymore

Toto we’re not in Kansas anymore.

This week marked the beginning of winter term at the community college that I am finishing up some gen ed. Courses at. Tonight was my first night in biology 102. Now I have not taken a science class (unless you count a week long birds of prey class) since my Jr. year of high school. And I have not taken biology since my sophomore year. It has been since the first semester of my sophomore year that I took the type of biology that talks about cells (instead of animal dissection and all the fun easier stuff). Needless to say it has been a while since I have been in this kind of environment.

It is not simply the type of class that made me take a step back and realize I’m not in “Kansas” or more realistically Nampa anymore. It became clear to me from the beginning of class that my instructor is most likely not a Christian, or at least not one who believes in intelligent design. As we were talking about animal cells and plant cells and how they work and the small intricacies of how it all functions I could not help but think “God, you are magnificent. How could anyone believe that this all happened by chance, or evolution. Everything has to be just so…so perfect. I don’t get it.” And I truly do not understand how one can use science to disprove God, the more I look at the universe, people, and now biology, I become more convinced of Gods existence.

I could get a sense of my instructor’s position because she kept referring to the evolutionary process, and not simply with micro evolution, but everything having evolved from something. I do not know quite how to word it in the manner of which her tone and body language would match. It was her tone and body language which gave away, or suggested her beliefs of how everything came into being. In the moment that I realized this I began to genuinely appreciate the University I went to, and Christian scientists. I now feel more blessed than ever to have learned, not just bible and theology at a private university, but also history, English, phycology, and all of those other general education requirements, because our theology and beliefs do impact everything we do and how we learn.

I believe that science and God can, and do, co-exist that science does not (and cannot) prove or disprove God, but simply that it is a window into how God has created and how magnificent, beautiful, and mind blowing God is. We can learn more about God by learning more about his creation through science, and I look forward to being able to do this, even while disagreeing on some things with my instructor…which I am use to.

It Continues part II

Almost a month ago I started going to the gym on a regular basis again. This past month has been pretty great, I can now bike a mile in 4min and in general have improved. The only thing that sucks is now that my body has gotten use to eating better if I eat some form of junk my body lets me know it was a mistake.

These next few months will be even more intense and I am excited for them! My friend Mary will be my personal trainer for three months and I am sure she will lead me close to death. But it will be worth it!

Day 1

Day 31

It Continues

Most (if not all) of my life I have been over weight. At the end of my Freshman year of college I was at my heaviest (295)

The beginning of the next school year I decided that I was going to lose some weight. Things went well and I did drop a few.

Even after my year off from school and going back I kept doing a good job of exercising regularly and dropped down to being the lightest I have been during my adult life. (220)

After graduating and spending time traveling and not being able to go to a gym I began to gain weight again. This will all change today. Today I am pledging to myself to not only work out 4-5 times a week, again, but to also change my eating habits. I will be documenting my change mainly for me, for those days where I do not want to go to the gym and eating a whole box of cookies sounds like a good idea. Today I weighed in at 246.2 my goal weight 170. But really the goal is to burn the fat and feed the muscle. May the journey continue.

A book?

I feel strange saying that I am going to write a book, because let's be honest, I'm not the brightest tool in the shed and there are much more brilliant minds out there. But why not give it a shot? In the end it might be nothing more than thousands of pages that led to my own intellectual and spiritual growth.

So why am I writing this little blog about it? Accountability that is why! I have a small number of people who will be reading the early (and probably terrible) drafts, but I know with them and now whomever it is that reads my blog will know and I will actually have to finish it.

So what is it going to be about? Good question. Over the past five years I have been studying the Bible and theology. During these times I would encounter words that we would use in class that I did not fully understand. I knew the gist of the word but that was it. I began to pay more attention to the language we use in church and the language Christians use in general. Some of the words that I did not fully understand were among the words used.

I have friends who are not Christians, and if I ever use a Christian word or term I need to be able to explain it to them in a way that one who is not a member of the body might be able to understand it. Not only do I have friends who are not Christian who do not understand all the theological terms that many churches and pastors use on a regular basis, but many Christians do not know. Like me they may be able to give a general definition, but beyond that they are lost. It is one thing to not understand a theological term, but it is another thing to not understand how it actually impacts ones life and relationship with God.

This is where Theological Jargon will come in. Not only do I want to be able to explain some of these terms in a way that the average person can understand, but also how our theological view on these things impact our relationship to God, the Church, and those who are not a part of the Church (Capital C meaning Church Universal). My hope and prayer is that this project will not only impact me, but maybe that it might help someone else.

Again I am not the brightest tool in the shed, and if anyone gains anything from my writings ever I believe we should all know who really deserves the credit.

So here we go. Let the journey begin. Theological Jargon is coming!

Single in a Not so Single World

I have been single for most of my life; in fact I have not been in a romantic relationship in three years. To be honest, for the most part, I enjoy being single. This past September my sister got married to a great man, and I had a blast celebrating with them. This coming year my other brother will be getting married leaving me the last single sibling in the family. Personally I am okay with it, I know I am not ready for a relationship and am not looking for one and, again, enjoy being single.

However, most of society does not share my joy. Since graduating high school, and even more so after college, I have often been asked if I am seeing anyone, or if there is someone that I am interested in, along with all of those other (rather) annoying questions single 20 something’s are often asked. Typically I play the questions off and move on to another topic. Now I want to speak out a little.

First of all, I know many single women, and men, who constantly think about getting married and having a family. This in and of itself is not bad; however, it consumes their thoughts, and actions. In many ways they begin to worship the idea of finding “the one” so that they won’t be alone for the rest of their life. I would rather consume my thoughts and energy on other things that are more worthy of my time. Instead of looking for “Mr. Right” and thinking about who he might be and how we will meet etc. I would rather think about God, theology, the teens that I serve, those who are in prison for their Christian beliefs all across the world. I strongly believe that these things take president over a romantic relationship. Instead of worrying about being alone for the rest of my life I worry about finding a position in a church and ministry, I worry about my kids that are in less than ideal situations. I find these things to be worth worrying about. Finding a future husband is not something I want to worship, it is not something I want consuming my thoughts because there are more important things in this world.

Second, our society seems to think that when one is single that they are broken, and we treat singleness like a disease. I am broken, not because I am single, and I am not diseased. We constantly put down singleness as being less than being married. I have no less value as a single woman than a married woman. Being single I see myself as being a little freer to do whatever it is I need to do and go wherever I am called to go. Moving wherever, whenever is less of a stress than it would be being married (in my opinion). Paul himself said that it is better to be single, now I do not believe that being single is better than being married. I believe marriage is a wonderful sacrament that is to be a picture of Gods relationship with the Church. With that, marriage is a big deal. When there is pressure to be in a relationship often people get into them with people that they shouldn’t. I believe that marriage is a gift from God and maybe it isn’t for everyone.

I have noticed that the times that I feel as though there is something wrong with me, and that I am not fully a woman or complete, is when I am continually asked the typical “why are you single” questions. I know I am fully a woman, and I know that only God can make me complete, and I am complete just as God has made me. Here is a simple reminder to all parents, family members, friends, church-goers, and really just anyone: do not pressure your single child, sibling, friend, fellow church-goer, or whomever to find that “someone” when you do, and even out of love, you are not helping them but simply putting them in a bad head space. When I hear these questions I often begin to think of how inadequate I am and compare myself to others who are married, or in a relationship. It is not until I spend some time with God that I am reminded of who I am, who made me, and that life is not about finding a “soul mate” but rather about loving God, others, myself, and serving.

If you are single, do not rush, don’t feel pressured you are amazing and if you do get married remember that it is a gift from God.

If you are married, thank God for your spouse. Remember that they are a gift that God has given you, cherish it, keep Christ at the center of your marriage, love them, and remember love the singles in your life and do not constantly ask them about their single status.

Christian Sub-culture

A few years ago my friend Scott Evans was in town speaking at Northwest Nazarene University. While he was visiting a group of us went to the Flying M Coffee Garage to have some coffee and just hang out. I will never forget the first question Scott asked as we sat down with our drinks, it was this: “Becca, why do Christians suck?” caught off guard a bit my response was something like “I don’t know. That is a good question.” Just to clear any questions or concerns, I myself am a Christian. I was raised in the Church, I have accepted Christ into my life, I have been baptized, I am a graduate with a degree in ministry and I love the Lord with all my being and strive to live as Christ and be made holy. Scott is also a Christian and if you have any questions about him you can simply read his blogs and books (you’re welcome for the plug friend).

                Ever since then I have continued to ask myself this question. I am sure Scott would not say all Christians suck, and I would not either; however, there is a ginormous group of people who call themselves Christians who do. In my personal experience there seems to be three types of “Christians.” (For the purpose of this specific blog I am going to skip over the first group and focus on the second.)

                The second group would be those who are active in the Church. They do love the Lord with all their being and are striving to be like Christ. However, they do so by creating and being a part of the Christian sub-culture. In today’s western society one can go their whole life without ever intentionally encountering someone who does not claim Christianity. One can become completely sheltered. There is Christian radio for when we want to listen to music, there is Christian television, Christian movies, Christian book stores where we can buy all of our books, clothing, music, cards, and (at some) our house decorations. It is also not difficult to find out which grocery stores are owned and run by Christians, which family doctors, and dentists are Christian, and private schools are everywhere. While none of these are inherently evil and all can and sometimes do serve a great purpose one can easily become caught up in this sub-culture. We begin to teach, and believe, that anything “secular” is sinful and bad and we become so disconnected from the rest of the world that we cannot reach out to anyone.

                Also when we do this we miss out on God. As a Nazarene and Wesleyan I believe in prevenient grace. This is to say that I believe that God can be seen and experienced through any means. God is the creator, and what God has created is good. A few months ago I wrote a blog about how the band Good Charlotte saved my life. I will not dive into the whole thing now, but the essence of the blog was to say how God used, and spoke to me as a teen ager through the music of a “secular” band. I use the word “secular” in quotes because to say that something is secular is to say that it is completely separate from God. If one believes that God created everything than nothing (person, media, creation etc.) can never truly be secular.

                The Christian sub-culture that we have created has become my biggest pet peeve. Now when I ask myself the question that Scott asked my first thought goes towards the Christian sub-culture. Earlier today I found out that there is a web site called “Godvine” it is a spinoff of the original web site “vine.” It looks to be the exact same thing except everything on Godvine is “Christian.” This is not the first website idea that well intentioned Christians have taken and turned into something religious. There is “Godtube” and “Christian Mingle.” Because apparently “vine” “youtube” and other online dating sites are too far gone to be able to post things about God, or find Godly people on that any “Christian” in their right mind would never use such things. How much better than those who are not Christians do we think we are that we cannot co-mingle our videos? How many people that are not Christian visit these sites? Probably close to zero. Yet how many end up watching Christ related things on these other websites? Yes, some watch and complain in the comments (p.s. God does not need you to stand up for Jesus via online arguments) but the point is that they still see it. I do not believe that Jesus would be visiting our Christian websites, stores, or even be listening to our Christian radio, unless it was to correct them (lovingly) just as he did the Jewish community and religious leaders of his time.

                I love Jesus; I love God too much to limit my encounters with God to only “Christian” outlets. I love those who are not Christians too much to cut myself off from the world that they live in. I love my Christian brothers and sisters too much to not speak up against this sub-culture that we have created. As Christians we should give God our best, and we cannot give God our best when we are segregating ourselves in every imaginable way from the rest of the world.

                The third group of Christians are a smaller group. They are the ones who love the Lord, are active in the Church, and are active in the world in a way that Christ is shown to those who are not Christians. They are the ones who follow the radical teachings of Jesus, who are not afraid to speak out against Christians who are misrepresenting God. They are bold in their faith, they are close to God, and they are sensitive to the Spirit. There is a balance in their lives where they can be in the world, yet still not be of the world.

Post NNU Depression?

I have spent that past five years of my life, four actually in school, in Idaho and invested in the NNU community. This is one of many things that the University does really well. It knows what it means to be a community. Through these past few years I have become close friends with many, and most of my professors became mentors and close friends. I know that no matter where life takes me or what happens these people will always be there are me and are cheering me on. This is encouraging. NNU creates an atmosphere like no other.

However, while this is one of the many great things the University offers, it may also be it's greatest down fall. After graduating I moved, I traveled a lot at the beginning of summer and am now back at home in Oregon. This has now become one of the most difficult things. I am in the midst of transitioning from being a student in school to one who is not. After only knowing what life is like in an institution this can be a big shift. On top of this I have my other two siblings getting married, and my families house has recently been rebuilt after a fire back in February. Needless to say, home for me isn't really home anymore. Most of my friends from Oregon have also moved on, and it is at times difficult to find where one fits in at their home church once more.

I have experienced what good community is, and what it looks like. But I was never shown how to find, and grow that community outside of college. I have noticed that many NNU graduates stay in the Nampa area, and within that there are a number of them that not only continue to live there but continue to attend school events, such as chapel, time out, Mr. NNU, etc. This in and of itself is not completely bad, but when that is still the only since of community one has the school as done a disservice to those students.

While I transition through this part of my life, and at times find myself down and on the verge of depression, all I can think about is how my close friends, my tight community is hundreds of miles away.

I love my Alma Mater, I am blessed to have made such great friends, and to have learned from such great minds. I know I am prepared to go into my field of study. The only thing I was not prepared for was the emotional distress that is caused by leaving one close community and not knowing how to find it again in the real world.