Wednesday, February 12, 2014

Out of Nowhere

Out of Nowhere
You came in like a swooping wind
Little did I know how much damage you could do
I am quick to guard my heart
It has been bruised and broken before
I was okay
I was good on my own
Then here you came singing like an angel
I know if I let myself I could fall
But you see you’re the kind of man who could really break my heart.
If I let go
If I fall
And if you’re not there to catch me at all
I don’t know what will become of me
And my already fragile heart.
If I seem cold
If I seem distant
It is because I can’t trust myself with you
With your words
Everything you say
Everything you do
It cuts
It punches
It hits me hard.
I may be irrational
I know I am
But I was not expecting this
I was not expecting you.
No, I was not expecting this
This wave that is you that came out of nowhere.
I hope you understand.
I don’t know what to do,
But if my past repeats
I am in for a nasty treat.
So if you know who you are

Be gentle with my fragile heart. 

Wednesday, February 5, 2014

Take the Risk

What are you waiting for
take the risk
jump!
You'll never know until you try.
you fear for the worst
but glory could be moments away.
What are you waiting for?
Take the leap
ask the question
because you will never know until you do.
Don't live in fear!
Live in the light!
Tonight could be the best night of your life!
Hearts may break and dreams may fall
but in the end you did it and are standing tall.
Don't think of the worst,
Never wonder what could've been.
Take the risk,
jump!

Sunday, February 2, 2014

Here I am Send Me

For the past few years I have felt that God has been calling me to urban ministry. Last summer I was given the opportunity to travel to New York City and spend a week with 40 amazing people from Ohio and serve the people of NYC. They have officially invited me to return with them to NYC, and they are also heading to Chicago during the summer. I am now trying to raise money in order to be able to go, since I am a poor just out of college graduate with student loans. If you would like to donate follow the link bellow and you can purchase a custom t-shirt. If t-shirts aren't your thing but you still want to help you can donate without purchasing one. Please help me reach my goal, and if I raise more than enough for travel expenses I will be donating the extra money to the churches that we will be working with.


thank you,'


here is another way to help me fund my trip!
http://www.gofundme.com/6nldl8

Thursday, January 30, 2014

Saved to Serve, Not Saved to Sit

Usually I fall asleep to the random ramblings I have going on in my mind, but not tonight. I simply cannot fall asleep and my rambling turned into me preaching to myself. So I thought I would write it down and maybe then I could sleep.

The pastor at the church I interned at in college had this saying; he would often say “we are saved to serve, not saved to sit.” This is so very true. I have seen churches, and groups who were once thriving shrink and some of them completely fall apart. As I began to wonder how this happened, I continually went back to Kent’s (the pastor from my church) words.
There was a time, and there are still some who think this way, where many Christians believed that the purpose of being a Christian was to get to heaven. That is the goal, heaven. This mentality feeds the sitting many Christians are doing. I have often heard the phrase “I am not of this world” and “I am waiting to go ‘home’” with this attitude there is no drive to change the world. If being a Christian is all about getting to heaven then we have no need to concern ourselves with helping the poor, and social justice, because in the end we are saved, this world will pass and everything will be peachy king jelly bean. We have taught, and been taught, to be saved and then sit. Many churches then filled up with sitting Christians, and maybe someone would walk by and we would share the gospel and tell them how to get to heaven, and some would sit and join the waiting party. While there were others who saw/see the social injustices, they see the poor, starving, addicts and are serving them and when a sitting Christian tells them about God they do not want to join in the sitting because the sitting is not helping the hurting.
So if being a Christian is not about getting in to heaven then what is it about? I believe it is about working with God to bring Christ’s kingdom here, now. Every time we say the Lord’s Prayer we pray “your kingdom come, your will be done on earth as it is in heaven.” This is a prayer of action, not only for God to act but that we as followers will act to. If we are wanting Christ’s kingdom to be here on earth as it is in heaven this means that the Church, that Christians must help the poor, feed the hungry, live life with the addicts and allow God to bring healing through our obedience and action, this means that we must stand against social injustice, this means that we were saved to serve not saved to sit. When those who are not Christians see the Church active, serving, and living what they preach then they are more open to hearing what we have to say.

Church is not about glitz and glamor. It is not a place where we go on Sunday because that is what we are supposed to do. Church is not about us being entertained. It is about the body coming together to worship the creator. It is about living life together. I do not know, or want to even think about, what this world will look like if those who claim to be followers of Jesus continue to sit in their Sunday pews and not serve. Jesus didn’t sit and wait, neither did the disciples, the apostles, and for those of us who stem theologically from Luther, John Wesley, Phineas Breese, and Anna Hanscome did not sit around, they served. They were active and they changed the world. So what are you going to do? You who claim to be a follower of the living God? Will you continue being a Saturday sinner and a Sunday saint? Will you sit and wait to be taken to heaven, or will you live into what it means to be a follower of Christ? Will you get up and serve, living in step with the Holy Spirit striving to bring The Kingdom here on earth now as it is in heaven?

Tuesday, January 7, 2014

Toto We're Not in Kansas Anymore

Toto we’re not in Kansas anymore.
This week marked the beginning of winter term at the community college that I am finishing up some gen ed. Courses at. Tonight was my first night in biology 102. Now I have not taken a science class (unless you count a week long birds of prey class) since my Jr. year of high school. And I have not taken biology since my sophomore year. It has been since the first semester of my sophomore year that I took the type of biology that talks about cells (instead of animal dissection and all the fun easier stuff). Needless to say it has been a while since I have been in this kind of environment.
It is not simply the type of class that made me take a step back and realize I’m not in “Kansas” or more realistically Nampa anymore. It became clear to me from the beginning of class that my instructor is most likely not a Christian, or at least not one who believes in intelligent design. As we were talking about animal cells and plant cells and how they work and the small intricacies of how it all functions I could not help but think “God, you are magnificent. How could anyone believe that this all happened by chance, or evolution. Everything has to be just so…so perfect. I don’t get it.” And I truly do not understand how one can use science to disprove God, the more I look at the universe, people, and now biology, I become more convinced of Gods existence.
I could get a sense of my instructor’s position because she kept referring to the evolutionary process, and not simply with micro evolution, but everything having evolved from something. I do not know quite how to word it in the manner of which her tone and body language would match. It was her tone and body language which gave away, or suggested her beliefs of how everything came into being. In the moment that I realized this I began to genuinely appreciate the University I went to, and Christian scientists. I now feel more blessed than ever to have learned, not just bible and theology at a private university, but also history, English, phycology, and all of those other general education requirements, because our theology and beliefs do impact everything we do and how we learn.

I believe that science and God can, and do, co-exist that science does not (and cannot) prove or disprove God, but simply that it is a window into how God has created and how magnificent, beautiful, and mind blowing God is. We can learn more about God by learning more about his creation through science, and I look forward to being able to do this, even while disagreeing on some things with my instructor…which I am use to.

Monday, December 30, 2013

It Continues part II

Almost a month ago I started going to the gym on a regular basis again. This past month has been pretty great, I can now bike a mile in 4min and in general have improved. The only thing that sucks is now that my body has gotten use to eating better if I eat some form of junk my body lets me know it was a mistake.

These next few months will be even more intense and I am excited for them! My friend Mary will be my personal trainer for three months and I am sure she will lead me close to death. But it will be worth it!

Day 1
Day 31

Tuesday, December 3, 2013

It Continues

Most (if not all) of my life I have been over weight. At the end of my Freshman year of college I was at my heaviest (295)
The beginning of the next school year I decided that I was going to lose some weight. Things went well and I did drop a few.
Even after my year off from school and going back I kept doing a good job of exercising regularly and dropped down to being the lightest I have been during my adult life. (220)
After graduating and spending time traveling and not being able to go to a gym I began to gain weight again. This will all change today. Today I am pledging to myself to not only work out 4-5 times a week, again, but to also change my eating habits. I will be documenting my change mainly for me, for those days where I do not want to go to the gym and eating a whole box of cookies sounds like a good idea. Today I weighed in at 246.2 my goal weight 170. But really the goal is to burn the fat and feed the muscle. May the journey continue.