A Letter

Why? Why are we so dry? Why can't we go deep? I'm so pissed about how we have underestimated God and what He can do. He has not bee leading us. Humans have been.And we, we like power, we do what we want, masking it like it's God. You can't lead, you can't do anything if God isn't the leader. It's not just you, it's us. All of us. We are nothing without Him. You can do all your games, teaching, programs, but they are lame and meaningless if God is not leading them. The group is breaking because God has not been leading cause you wouldn't let Him. I have seen this coming, I tried to  help, to stop it but my warning calls were not heard. You ignored God's warning calls and now you are breaking. you WILL fall apart and lose people that you cannot get back because you were too proud. We have not seen God in His fullness that He could do here. You haven't been leading, you haven't been feeding. We ask for bread and you gave us a snake. Something needs to give, something needs to break. I'm sorry but it's you who has brought us to this place. I pray that you become broken and crushed down to dust so that you remember who is supposed to be leading us.

A lesson learned during Luke and Acts homework

This semester I am taking a class called Luke and Acts and everyday we have passages we have to read and post about. Today's reading really stuck with me and i thought i would post here what I wrote. Let me know what you think.

In the passages of Luke 6:1-11, Luke is telling two stories of Jesus breaking the mosaic law of working on the Sabbath. To me these stories amplify the corruption within the Jewish religion/tradition. The people and the religious leaders became lost in the religiosity and no longer sought to have a relationship with God as Moses and Joseph. The idea that God loves rules and in order to be good and righteous one must follow every rule, no matter how ridiculous they became. When Jesus poses the question of what is better to do good or to cause harm, and stating that if one does not do good they are doing harm shows that God will not care if one breaks the law by helping or healing another human on the Sabbath, or picking some food to eat when one did not have time to prepare before. This passage also reminds me of the good Samaritan parable. Religious leaders passed by a man who was in need of help because if they were to touch him they would be unclean and unable to do their duties in the temple, while a Samaritan (who was enemies with the Jews) stopped to help him. In that situation I believe that God would have wanted the leaders to stop and help him even if it meant they would be "unclean" even so He could have made them clean again so that they could do their duties as well. I believe in these stories a lesson we could learn is that God is not about rules and regulations but about us, people, His children. We use religiosity to worship God and to remind us of who He is and of His reverence; however, when we become consumed by it then our actions become obsolete.
The thoughts I had from the first verses tie into the ones of Luke 6:30-36, where Jesus is speaking and He is telling them to love one another and to do good to those who hate them. That would be, and is, difficult for everyone. It is easy for us to love those who love us. But as Jesus pointed out even sinners do that. He has called us to be set apart, in those days and even today one of the most radical thing one could do is to love those who despise them.
I think as humans it is easier for us to live by rules and follow those than it is for us to just love. We become lost in the rules of religion thinking that it would be enough, if we do all of this and kind of love everyone then we have done good enough. Like what Scott Evans talked about last week with the prodigal son and the brother being lost in the field trying to earn everything. Maybe if we are in the field long enough and produce enough crop and work really hard, then maybe God will be pleased. When instead He is wanting us to come home, live in relationship with Him and love Him because if we truly love God then all of the work/deeds will become natural to us. The only question i can think to ask is: why is it so easy to just follow rules and step by step instructions instead of learning to love everyone?

The Tunnel and The Voice

I am in a tunnel. It's dark. It's damp. I don't even know how I got here. I keep looking for the light at the end of the tunnel and i don't see it!
There is no hope!
I cry out for those I know and love,
but they don't call back.
I am crying for my mothers help,
she is nowhere
I keep walking.
Some how at some time I just gave up.
I am lying here crying. Cold. Wet.
It would be so easy to slip away.
As soon as I realize that there is no more noise
I hear soft foot fall coming towards me.
and a voice.
One I have never heard before.
It says "I love you."
I ask who it is.
All they say is:
"Come rest in me. let me love you. Aren't you tired? I will carry you to the warm light. Will you trust me?"
I didn't know what was right but I know that I wanted this love,
and i longed for this light.
I said yes.
Then as if out of nowhere these warm strong arms lift me up, carrying me like a child.
The person holds me close and starts to walk.
As we go The Voice tells me,
"I love you. I have been waiting for you."
On the wall I start to see images of a man.
Born-killed-and raised from the dead.
Then the images shift to me.
Born-going through life with the same man next to me.
But I never saw him.
He was with me in the tunnel all along,
but I could not hear his cry for me
because I was crying louder and could not hear.
As The Voice keeps repeating Itself saying
"I love you. I have been waiting for you,"
I start to see the light.
I see hope, and goodness,
yet I am afraid and try to turn back.
Back to my dark tunnel
and The Voice holds me tighter, closer, whispering
"I love you. I have been waiting for you."

Spiritual Formation

So this semester I am taking a class called Spiritual Formation, and for one of our assignments we have to make a "creative project" displaying spiritual formation. I have chosen to make a video. The gist of it is going from a broken life through a journey towards being healed. This is being portrayed via cardboard testimonies. I could not do this project alone so i recruited 6 friends, 3 female 3 male, to help me with it. 

Side note; at the end of the creative project we must write a short paper on how the project has helped us grow and grasp spiritual formation or something of that kind.

I did not think I would have anything to write about. Until I witnessed my friends write down some of their innermost secrets and struggles. Everything from sexual addiction and abuse to the feeling of being hopeless and having no ambitions; to the flip side of their cards expressing the recovery, redemption, hope, and drive they now have through Christ. This is not just a little film I am making for kicks and giggles; there will be other students that know them that will be seeing this video. Not just students but Professors, people who would have no idea. I pray that they will see the boldness of these six and see the healing they have found through Christ and be inspired. Given hope. Sure they may not (probably did not) get there through sola scriptura But through a process involving solitude, scripture, prayer, and community.




I shall edit this video and maybe post it up her for y'all

New Friend

I get excited to see you
your laugh makes me smile
your crazy faces make me laugh
your love for Christ inspires me
your love for teens warms me
I am glad I have met you
you have helped me already in many ways of which you may never know
may God bless you
may we grow closer as friends
who knows what the future holds for us
all I know is that I am blessed to have met you

Trust

I say I trust you
Yet I still have a foot on the ground.
All aspects of my life I have given
except one
for some reason I am still scared
if I have a foot down I can catch myself.
yet, I am the one who causes me to stumble all the time.
Not you.
This should be easy
but I don't know how,
how do I lift my foot so that only You are holding me?
What do I think.
Pray.
What do I do to lift this foot?
I need help
I want to live for you in the now.
Help me to trust you.

Tree

So last weekend we had our STCM retreat for school and while on the drive back home I was listening to my music and looking out the window watching all the rocks, water, and trees as they passed. At one point I looked up at a tree and I noticed that it was dead. No leaves, no moss, nothing it was deader than dead; however, it was surrounded by living trees that were full and big and a nice green color. After seeing this I thought to myself "no matter how hard that tree tries it could not be made alive again by the other trees." No matter how close it was to them how much it touched there healthy branches it just would never happen. The process would have to happen within the tree and down in it's roots. I then thought of how this relates to our spiritual lives. When we are spiritually dead how we sometimes think that "if i am close enough to those who are alive it will rub off." If we associate with those spiritually well we in turn will be made whole again. This could be true to an extent but it would never fix what it is that is making you dead.
The only way that tree could be living again is that if it was healed of whatever was killing it, and if it had proper sun light and watering. Like wise, we would need spiritual healing, live into community, read our bibles, pray and be honest with God. Only then can we be made alive again.