I can't wait

I can’t wait for the day when I will see my savior face to face

No more pain, no more sorrow

Just love and grace

I cannot wait to see my savior face to face

While Christ brought hope to our world for here and now

There will come a time where this hope abounds in an undeniable way

The whole earth will tremble as they say the name.

I cannot wait to see my savior face to face

I cannot wait to be with all my family praising the one who gives us life together,

No miles, seas, or oceans between us.

I cannot wait to worship my savior face to face

I cannot wait to laugh in the presence of his undeniable grace

I cannot wait to ask my savior the questions I have been longing to know the answer to

Like did they have animal races in the garden, and did Jesus ever pull pranks

Oh the joy that fills my heart to think of the day I get to see my saviors face!

While now I cannot see my saviors face

I see the grace

I live into this hope that lives because Christ died and defeated death being raised from the grave on that third day.

I see my savior, my creator in the creation around me

I see my savior in the trees, the strong winds, and the light breeze

I see my savior in the people I meet

I see my savior every Sunday as we gather to worship as one body

This is just a glimpse of what is to come.

Oh man I cannot wait to see my saviors face!

My King

Let me tell you about my King
The King of Kings
See my King reigns supreme
I love my King with every fiber of my being,
and I am telling you because my King loves you too.
My King lowered himself to our level
my King died for us out of love
Unfortunately you have been to blind to see
what my King has done for you and me.
See my King conquered death
because of my King I have no fear in life or in death.
 I grin ear to ear
when my King draws near
There is still pain and sorrow
but my King is never too far off.
See my King travels with me in my pain and my sorrow
My King is my today and tomorrow.
My King is the King of Kings.
And my King means everything.
My King created everything
every living being
my King created you and me
and out of everything
my King has chosen us.
See my King is our King.
Our King loves
Our King pursues
Our King wants you.
Yes our King is the King of Kings.

Never Give Up

I am usually not one to think about my accomplishments, especially when it comes to anything physical.

Today on my drive home from the gym I began to think about how far I have actually come. I started going to the gym to work out constantly, having a life style change about two years ago. When I started I could only do half an hour, and at the end of this time I would be so tired and just plain dead. My work outs then were (maybe) 10 min on a bike and the rest being resistant training with weights. Today I warm up by biking an hour, half an hour of resistant training of which I can lift and do twice as much as I use to, then finish by running/jogging a mile, and have the energy to run around and not feel like death after. It is crazy to me how far I have come, granted it has been 2 years. But then I thought about my progress since starting at my current gym, which I started in February. I could only plank for maybe 5 seconds, I worked my way up to 30 seconds, today I am able to plank for 1min do 10 crunches on a ball plank for another minute then do 10 more crunches.

I say all this to give courage, don't give up! It may take 2 years to get where you want to be, and when it has been that long and you think you are getting no where look back at where you were and where you are today. You may not be the weight you want to be (i'm not) but look at how much healthier you are! Look at what you can do now! And in another 2 years I am sure you will be twice as far if you keep going! 

The Cross, it's not what I use to think it was

For the past couple of years I have been asking the question "Why the cross?" I have been told my whole life that Jesus had to die so that God could forgive me (us) for my (our) sins. This was good enough for me up until I started to really think about that. Jesus had to die, I was being told that God needed Jesus to die in order to save us. This coupled with the whole sacrificial system in the Old Testament makes it look like God needed to pay Godself off in order to forgive us. I began to ask then, well if God is God and could chose to forgive and redeem us however God wanted, then why would God choose the death of an innocent animal, and ultimately the death of Jesus.

I have been blessed and lucky enough to have been surrounded by some of the most intelligent professors and theologians for the past five years and have been able to ask this question and have received guidance, but ultimately support in discovering who God is in the cross, and why the cross.

In my senior theology class we read Jurgen Moltmann's The Crucified God, and this lent season I began to re-read through it trying to get a better grasp on the text itself. It is a heavy book that will punch you in the face every time you pick it up, and it has taken me all of lent just to get halfway through chapter 2.

But here is where I think I land thus far.

I do not believe these atonement theories:
1. Jesus was a ransom to pay off the devil
2. Recapulation
3. Mystical
4. Moral influence
5. Governmental
6. either substitution theory

I think that most, if not all of these theories pain God (the father) in an evil light and that Jesus (the son) is simply a pawn. Rather I believe that the Cross was the ultimate sacrifice and the ultimate sign of love. John 15:13 states "Greater love has no one than this, to lay down one's life for one's friend." (NIV) It was in the cross that Jesus was/felt godless, godforsaken and abandoned, just like many people who live today. God knows how they feel because God went through it. God the father also endured a type of suffering, the Father was abandoning the Son, the Father was allowing the Son to suffer and die. God knows what it is lie to lose a child.

So what about the whole redemption, and "the only way to the Father is through me" part that we have all been taught. While I believe God could have chosen to forgive and bring redemption in any form, this, the cross was the best and most complete way of doing so. Imagine if God said "the only way to heaven is to plant a tree." that is nothing, sin is much bigger than that. In some ways yes, it is a cost thing, but ultimately it is a Love thing.

God loves you, me, everyone so much that he died for us. the ultimate sign of love. The cross is not pretty, the cross is heavy, and we are invited to take ours up and follow Christ. To die to ourselves and to live for Christ, to be the ultimate sign of Love to all those we encounter so that they can encounter the ultimate Love that is God.

Love

I thought I would post a little excerpt of a theology paper I wrote on Love for y'all. If you would like to read the whole paper I would be willing to send it to you.

Love is such a simple word, and seems as though it should have a simple definition; however, this one word carries a lot of weight with it, and is expressed in different ways. The English language, in many ways, is inadequate when it comes to the word love. In this essay love will be defined according to Van Harvey’s book A Handbook of Theological Terms which states: “[agape] signifies God’s love for man and the love which should bind men to one another, especially Christians in the Church…the selfless commitment of the love to the one loved, to the enrichment and enhancement of the beloved’s being. The Christian believes such an agape is made manifest in Jesus Christ, in whom God gives himself to man.” 
Over the years I have come to discover what love means to me through personal experience, scriptures, reason, and my theology. There have been countless times I have questioned my faith, and my theology, God’s love is what has kept me from walking away. It has prevailed through the lack of love I have received from some Christians, and personal demons that have tried to knock me down. Love has shaped my theology for the better, and should be a lens for every Christian’s theology.
Within Christianity we speak of love constantly and rightly so. 1 Corinthians is known as the “love chapter” because of its claims with love and how it is greater than faith and hope, Paul states that without love we are nothing. We constantly sing songs proclaiming God’s love for us, and ours for Him; yet, our theology and lives are not always cohesive with the words we sing and read in the Bible. In Dr. Tom Oord’s book The Nature of Love: A Theology he states: “if love is the center of the biblical witness and the core of Christian experience, it should be the primary criterion for theology. Love should be the orienting concern and continual focus for speaking systematically about theology. We should discard ideas or theories that undermine love.” In order to have a theology of love one must know what love is. This is difficult because while the Bible tells us to love it does not give us an actual definition of love. Jesus is our most clear revelation of God and what love is, and he does not give a clear or sufficient definition. Jesus lived a life of love through his words, and actions, he spoke of love, and told parables about love, but there is still no place in scripture where there is a simple definition of what love is. If the bible itself does not give a clear definition then should we give love a definition? Yes, because if we were to not seek and find a sufficient definition the word gets lost in a list of what love might be and what is might not be, theologically we could get stuck going in a circle or limit love to just actions we read of in the scriptures. Dr. Oord offers a definition to help Christians grasp what love is without limiting the word. His definition is “to love is to act intentionally, in sympathetic/empathetic responses to God and others, to promote overall well-being.”
While I agree with Dr. Oord’s definition, but I believe that it needs to be read and looked at on a deeper level, and one cannot simply go off of the words used but must also look into what the definition is truly stating.
  

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[1] Thomas Jay Oord, The Nature of Love: A Theology (St. Louis: Chalice Press, 2010) 1.

[2] Oord, Nature of Love, 2.

[3] Oord, Nature of Love, 15.

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[1] Van A. Harvey, A Handbook of Theological Terms (New York: Touchstone, 1964) 13.

You Are

Inspiration can hit you in the strangest of places. Tonight while at work I was reflecting on what I have been reading by Moltmann and the sermon my pastor gave about pain, and this came about.

In my times of joy
you are there.
In my times of deepest depression
you are there.
In my good times
you are there.
In my most painful moments
you are there.
You rejoice with me.
You join me in my suffering.
When I lost my identity
I found it in you.
In the cross.
The place of rejection
the place of pain
the place of abandonment
the place of forgiveness
the place of new life
the place of True Identity.
You are not a passive God.
You are a God who participates in our journey and relationship with you.
You are not a God who sits in judgment.
You are a God of grace and mercy.
You are a God of love.
You are Love.
You are I AM.

Prince Charming Vs. Superheros

I often see girls post on their facebooks about waiting for "Mr. Right" or their "Prince". I have always hated those words and labels, and here is why.

When I hear someone say one of these two things I think of two things. 1. They have unrealistic ideas about the man they may marry, thinking that he has some faults maybe, but generally all together is perfect (like all the prince's in the Disney movies) and 2. That they think they need someone to come and save them, whether that is from singleness or themselves.

first, the unrealistic idea that there is some man out there who will sweep you off your feet, and everything will be live in the movies. Just go talk to a couple who has been married for 20+ years and you will see why you are being illogical.

The part I really want to address is that of waiting for a "prince" in general I have never been into the whole princess prince thing and found it rather lame when I was little, and even now. I don't think I am a raging feminist, but with this I might be. I don't want a prince, I don't need a prince, I am not a damsel in distress that can only be saved by a man. The only saving I need Jesus already did. I am strong and I find my freedom and identity in Christ.

So girls, women you do not need a guy to save you, you can go on living a life changing lives and being complete and  whole without being in a relationship. I truly believe that it is knowing this, and living into this that makes a good relationship. When you find your identity in Christ and not in a guy (or girl), when you realize that you are complete just as you are and that being in a romantic relationship is a blessing and not something that completes you or makes you whole, then you will have a healthier better relationship.

So what do I (and what I think more women do/should) want? A Superhero. This may seem more unrealistic
 than a prince, but it isn't and here is why. When I hear the word superhero I think of Superman, Batman, Iron man, Thor, Spider man etc. and if you have read the comic books or even seen some of the movies you will realize quickly that all of these men are messed up in some way or another. Iron man is one of my favorites and I think Tony Stark is a good example of what I mean. He has a lot of flaws, but he is also willing to fight for what is right. He can be a complete jerk, but he is a good guy. I think all superheros (that are male) realize that they do not need to rescue or save their female counter parts, because (for the most part) these women can kick butt, protect themselves, and fight back. Granted there are times where he does save her, but there are times where she saves him. I want a man who is willing to fight along side me and kick butt, not see me as someone who needs to be saved and protected. I want a man who knows he doesn't complete me, but rather that he is a blessing to me and visa versa.

I don't want a pretty prince charming, I want a beat up superhero.