Spiritual Formation

So this semester I am taking a class called Spiritual Formation, and for one of our assignments we have to make a "creative project" displaying spiritual formation. I have chosen to make a video. The gist of it is going from a broken life through a journey towards being healed. This is being portrayed via cardboard testimonies. I could not do this project alone so i recruited 6 friends, 3 female 3 male, to help me with it. 

Side note; at the end of the creative project we must write a short paper on how the project has helped us grow and grasp spiritual formation or something of that kind.

I did not think I would have anything to write about. Until I witnessed my friends write down some of their innermost secrets and struggles. Everything from sexual addiction and abuse to the feeling of being hopeless and having no ambitions; to the flip side of their cards expressing the recovery, redemption, hope, and drive they now have through Christ. This is not just a little film I am making for kicks and giggles; there will be other students that know them that will be seeing this video. Not just students but Professors, people who would have no idea. I pray that they will see the boldness of these six and see the healing they have found through Christ and be inspired. Given hope. Sure they may not (probably did not) get there through sola scriptura But through a process involving solitude, scripture, prayer, and community.




I shall edit this video and maybe post it up her for y'all

New Friend

I get excited to see you
your laugh makes me smile
your crazy faces make me laugh
your love for Christ inspires me
your love for teens warms me
I am glad I have met you
you have helped me already in many ways of which you may never know
may God bless you
may we grow closer as friends
who knows what the future holds for us
all I know is that I am blessed to have met you

Trust

I say I trust you
Yet I still have a foot on the ground.
All aspects of my life I have given
except one
for some reason I am still scared
if I have a foot down I can catch myself.
yet, I am the one who causes me to stumble all the time.
Not you.
This should be easy
but I don't know how,
how do I lift my foot so that only You are holding me?
What do I think.
Pray.
What do I do to lift this foot?
I need help
I want to live for you in the now.
Help me to trust you.

Tree

So last weekend we had our STCM retreat for school and while on the drive back home I was listening to my music and looking out the window watching all the rocks, water, and trees as they passed. At one point I looked up at a tree and I noticed that it was dead. No leaves, no moss, nothing it was deader than dead; however, it was surrounded by living trees that were full and big and a nice green color. After seeing this I thought to myself "no matter how hard that tree tries it could not be made alive again by the other trees." No matter how close it was to them how much it touched there healthy branches it just would never happen. The process would have to happen within the tree and down in it's roots. I then thought of how this relates to our spiritual lives. When we are spiritually dead how we sometimes think that "if i am close enough to those who are alive it will rub off." If we associate with those spiritually well we in turn will be made whole again. This could be true to an extent but it would never fix what it is that is making you dead.
The only way that tree could be living again is that if it was healed of whatever was killing it, and if it had proper sun light and watering. Like wise, we would need spiritual healing, live into community, read our bibles, pray and be honest with God. Only then can we be made alive again.

Pet Peeves

I have decided to start a list of pet peeves. If you have any to add just comment.

#1. Parents that take their toddlers/babies/young children to a midnight movie.
#2. Parents whos kids are crying and screaming in a movie and they refuse to take them out
#4. When a guy tells you years later that they used to like you and were "too scared" to ask you out.
#5. When people dance around relationship stuff and are not forward.
#6. when the TP goes over top and not under.
#7. When one is hungry and one looks in the fridge and there is nothing to eat...unless you want a weird mix of BBQ sauce, eggs, milk, and peppers.
#8. When one really wants pie or cake but cannot make it and has no money to buy it.
#9. People that tail your car when you are going the speed limit.
#10. Hannah Montana/Miley Cirus.
#11. People that give up on their dreams.
#12. Dream killers
#14. People that are good looking and know it
#15. People that talk about other people (in not nice ways) in their facebook status'
#16. People posting emo/personal facebook status'
#17. People that spell "because" (or cause) "cuz" or "with" "wit" ect.
#18. Sitting in an empty movie theater one other person comes in and sits right in front of you
#19. People that say they want to go spiritually deep but really don't
#20. When someone asks "how is your day?" and the person doesnt answer
#21. People not understanding the difference between fiction and non-fiction
#22. When one becomes good friends with someone of the opposite gender and all their friends believe that they like each other and will end up together.

I'm Done

I'm done.
I'm done with you and your lies.
With you running and hiding.
With you ignoring me
Pretending that if you don't speak to me then I am not really there.
Then the questions and conversations were never said never asked.
You never hurt anyone.
Because if they are not there then your lies were never said.
You never ran, you never hid.
Life is the same old thing, nothing changed.
If I am not there you are confronted with nothing.
You don't have to think outside of your box and your world.
I have tried to reach out.
But I am tired of your denial, of you turning your back on me
on what we had.
I am done with trying.
I am done with you.

Feeling like a Prophet

Have you ever felt like a prophet? I don't mean in the since that you go around proclaiming  God's word to the masses and that He speaks to/through you alone. I mean do you ever FEEL like a prophet? When one day you take a look at your life and you realize you have no friends, the world seems big but you are all alone. Yes, God is there, He will always be there, so you can say that you are not completely alone and you have all you need in Him. But, you have no friends. No one to be there when life hits the fan. When work is hard and other relationships are on the rocks, when your faith is being tested and you need that pillar to hold you up. Like a prophet out of the Old Testament you are standing alone, nobody around to care.
I feel like a prophet. People tell me "you have lots of friends" I laugh because who they say are my friends are not. Yes, I know them and we hang out...sometimes. It may sound strange to say that one has "standards" when it comes to friends. Mine are simply be a friend to me, show me that you want to be my friend. Don't keep our conversations at surface level try and get to know the real me. Show me that when I try and run and hide from the world you will come and knock down my door trying to find me. So many times have I had friends for just a season. I try to be the friend I want. When you go and hide, when life hits your fan I try to go find you. I try to be there and listen so that you know I am there, I will be your pillar and rock when you cannot stand alone. I just ask that you do the same. Has anyone? sure I have 4 friends, good friends. But lately those who I have been trying to be friends with have been leaving me in the dust. Life is hitting the fan in some ways but I have non of them to call on. It is as though you wanted me for your entertainment and now you do not need or want me anymore. As though I could just walk off the face of the earth and non of you would notice. Maybe I have been right all this time, maybe all you guys want are friends that meet your social standards. I am not like everyone else. I do not apologize for that. I will say what i feel is needed, I will have fun and be strange and it may seem "immature" I know I am young and have a lot to learn. I know I am not the shinny new person to the group.
Right now I feel like a prophet. Standing alone and non of you have an idea because you have never taken the  time to try and be my friend.