Have you ever felt like a prophet? I don't mean in the since that you go around proclaiming God's word to the masses and that He speaks to/through you alone. I mean do you ever FEEL like a prophet? When one day you take a look at your life and you realize you have no friends, the world seems big but you are all alone. Yes, God is there, He will always be there, so you can say that you are not completely alone and you have all you need in Him. But, you have no friends. No one to be there when life hits the fan. When work is hard and other relationships are on the rocks, when your faith is being tested and you need that pillar to hold you up. Like a prophet out of the Old Testament you are standing alone, nobody around to care.
I feel like a prophet. People tell me "you have lots of friends" I laugh because who they say are my friends are not. Yes, I know them and we hang out...sometimes. It may sound strange to say that one has "standards" when it comes to friends. Mine are simply be a friend to me, show me that you want to be my friend. Don't keep our conversations at surface level try and get to know the real me. Show me that when I try and run and hide from the world you will come and knock down my door trying to find me. So many times have I had friends for just a season. I try to be the friend I want. When you go and hide, when life hits your fan I try to go find you. I try to be there and listen so that you know I am there, I will be your pillar and rock when you cannot stand alone. I just ask that you do the same. Has anyone? sure I have 4 friends, good friends. But lately those who I have been trying to be friends with have been leaving me in the dust. Life is hitting the fan in some ways but I have non of them to call on. It is as though you wanted me for your entertainment and now you do not need or want me anymore. As though I could just walk off the face of the earth and non of you would notice. Maybe I have been right all this time, maybe all you guys want are friends that meet your social standards. I am not like everyone else. I do not apologize for that. I will say what i feel is needed, I will have fun and be strange and it may seem "immature" I know I am young and have a lot to learn. I know I am not the shinny new person to the group.
Right now I feel like a prophet. Standing alone and non of you have an idea because you have never taken the time to try and be my friend.
